14 Jul

Three Reasons Why We Face Disappointment

lonely person by the sea

We get eager to achieve or attain something in life. It may be a relationship, a new job or project. It may be starting a business or sharing our ideas with others. In the process of all the excitement lies disappointments we never saw coming.

Here are three reasons why we often become disappointed in life:

High Expectations

Our expectations may be too high to attain when we set them.

It may be you looked up to a friend to come through for you but it did not happen. We looked to others and those we were looking up to could not meet the set expectations.

We end up becoming disappointed in the process. It does not necessarily mean you are a failure.

Trusting Others than Ourselves

We sometimes entrust more to others than we do to ourselves. You may have met the man or woman you thought was one of your dreams or a loved one suddenly walks out of your life but you suddenly were let down and disappointment sets in. You become broken and could not believe it is happening to you.

You may have trusted a friend with a secret and suddenly you find out that others now about it. Entrusting more to someone else in a relationship outside that which we have set for ourselves, will result in a broken heart or disappointment.


Our insecurities often get in the way when we are not confident enough to handle situations or relationships. We suddenly raise our guards in order to defend ourselves when it may not be necessary. Insecurities serve as false protection when we are not ready to step outside our comfort zone or get over a previous bad experience/hurt. We may end up losing vital friendships, a business deal or a job opportunity.

To get over these reasons, we need to learn from the experiences that led to the disappointments, go back to the drawing board and re-address set expectations.  We must not run from addressing the issues but allow the lessons serve as a teacher while re-evaluating our expectations.

We must also learn to first trust ourselves.

“Don’t expect others to do for you, what you are not willing to do for yourself.” – Kemi Sogunle

Trust requires loving ourselves enough to know what to accept or not to accept. Trusting ourselves, enough sometimes help with decision making as well as rational thinking.

Read this: Disappointments Are Life’s Teacher

Insecurities serve as a barrier to overcoming fear and taking on challenges that help build faith in ourselves. The more we learn to let go of what we cannot handle or change, the less insecure we become. Never be afraid to step outside your comfort zone. Be willing to learn and sometimes embrace failure, knowing that it is the only way to progress. Insecurities limit us because we sometimes focus on what others think than what we think of ourselves. What others think does not define you. People will always have something to say no matter what you do.

“Disappointments are a sign that we all need to grow.” – Kemi Sogunle

What is more important is embracing your flaws, knowing no one is perfect. We all are learning as we grow and we will sometimes fail in order to rise up and get back on track. Do not focus on the past but keep pushing and striving towards a better and brighter future. The very best lies ahead as long as we continue to press in and on without giving up. We will surely get there by taking baby steps which will eventually lead to giant steps.

Excerpt, “Beyond the Pain.” Copyright ©2014 Kemi Sogunle. All Rights Reserved.

Ready to learn how to move forward after being disappointed in life or a relationship? Schedule a complimentary session with me!

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Beyond the Pain written by Kemi Sogunle
Beyond the Pain
Being Single written by Kemi Sogunle
Being Single: A State for the Fragile Heart
Love, Sex, Lies and Reality wrtitten by Kemi Sogunle
Love, Sex, Lies and Reality


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Kemi Sogunle is a certified professional coach (life and relationship expert), international speaker and multi-award-winning author. Kemi's mission in life is to support single men and women who are ready, to find who they are after a broken relationship or divorce, heal from their painful past experiences, learn to love themselves and develop positive and healthier relationship habits that will make their lives become better not bitter. She also supports married couples with conflict resolution, trust and intimacy issues. Books Published: • Love, Sex, Lies and Reality • Being Single: A State for the Fragile Heart • Beyond the Pain (A Return to Love)